Eye Contact Matters | How to Establish Eye Contact During Conversations
I used to avoid eye contact when talking with people, especially those whom I think (gut-feel, actually) have strong personalities. I dunno, maybe it’s just me. But don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean I’m not serious when I do that. And I don’t think it’s shyness because I can be the most self-confident people you’ll ever know when the situation calls for it. I’d like to think I just get conscious whenever people look at me in the eye. It must be the “girl” in me.
Recently, I’ve been practicing establishing eye contact when talking with friends. It’s hard at first but when you get the hang of it, it won’t be a problem at all. Here are some tips to improve your eye contact skills which I have realized myself:
1. Practice in front of a mirror or a camera. Looking at yourself in the mirror is a good way to familiarize yourself with how you look when you establish eye contact with other people. You know you don’t want to get conscious every time someone tries to look you in the eye. A camera, on the other hand, can be used to improve your eye focus. Imagine that the lense is somebody else’s eye and try to be at ease while looking at it. Take a photo of yourself after to know how you look when doing such act.
2. Confidence is key. Confidence starts from within. Think about your strengths, your good qualities and your inner desire to connect with others and share your thoughts with them. Believe that in this world, each of us is unique and that there is always something special about you.
3. Engage in fun and meaningful conversations. It could be a set of friends or your loved ones, so long as you’re comfortable talking with them. The advantage of doing this on a regular basis is that you could study other people’s facial expressions and how their eyes react to your various responses. In the long run, it’ll give you the ability to tell their moods and anticipate their next moves. But then, you have to remember that it takes time to perfect that.
4. Focus on the face of the people you talk to. This is to make sure that your attention is undivided. Try not to be conscious of how you look while doing that.
5. Think of happy thoughts. Notice that when you think of happy thoughts and would like to share it with someone, you tend to look that person in the eye to be able to establish connection.
6. Be true to yourself. Nothing beats knowing what you really feel. If you’re telling a lie or just pretending to feel a particular emotion, your ability to establish eye contact with the people you talk to is greatly affected.
Do you know other tips to increase a person’s eye contact skills? Would you care to share it with me? 
now i understand ate tyn… hehehe!
and look at yourself now! you can establish eye contact na… back to our college days (and earlier part of our corres days) i hated your “autistic” style of conversing. hehehe! peace!
hahaha this is true! eyes can do all the talking.
here’s my other take on it. you gotta add “a” smile.
http://reynaelena.com/2008/02/21/that-look-could-mean-he-is-interested-with-you/
hahaha!
@nicely: grrrr…ok fine.hehe.
@reyna elena: right, that’s what missing here! thanks for that.
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